whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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