that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
