i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I need moral support for this bender
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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