Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
