im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My cat gives me a boner
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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