I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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