we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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