Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
