We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
