she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just pee around me
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Randomize
