i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Randomize
