I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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