Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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