So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
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