It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize