I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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