I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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