mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
