This girl is more easily done than said...
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
