butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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