That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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