I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
