HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
