i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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