evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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