soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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