party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
