your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
