New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
