I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Boobs are out for the taking
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
