I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
