im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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