we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
