butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Randomize
