Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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