Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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