Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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