His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
