Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
