if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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