Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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