I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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