After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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