So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
