I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
