I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
