You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
