just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
