champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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