Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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